U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
