We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
smell my finger.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
