question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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