are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
