if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
