Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
