The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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