I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i believe in u and ur pee
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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