it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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