There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
