We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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