ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
