You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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