I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have fence marks all over my body
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
