capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
