would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
