Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
