And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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