i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
