We're like a lot better than the average bears
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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