big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
