Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
