I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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