dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Randomize
