he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
