I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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