I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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