we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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