Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
