They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize