Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
