OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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