went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
