I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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