I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize