all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
