When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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