shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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