scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
