As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
