I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
