so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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