Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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