She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
