I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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