Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
