You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
