please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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