what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize