so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
