I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
