DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
