Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Non-Jews are for practice
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
