Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry about my life...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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