I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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