U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
