I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
