i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize