I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
