yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
