When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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