I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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