I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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