well most of my day revolves around power hour
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
